A Real Story of Disgrace

The Bible does not hide the wickedness of man.  In 2 Samuel 13:1-22 we find Tamar, the young beautiful daughter of King David.  David had many wives and children from different mothers.  Tamar had a half brother, Amnon who was infatuated with Tamar.  Amnon was so infatuated with his half sister that he listened to and took wicked advice of, his cousin Jonadad.  His plot was for Amnon to fake an illness and have Tamar come and serve him food from her hand.  But things went very wrong and here is what happened while Tamar was serving Amnon food:

But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.” “No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing.  What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.”  But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. (2 Sam. 13: 11-14, NIV)

As bad as this scene is, it gets worse.  What happens in verses 15-17 adds more abuse and disgrace.  “Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred.  In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her.  In his hatred he said, ‘Get up and get out!’ (v.15) “Finally Amnon called for his servant to put her out and bolt the door” (v.17).  Servants talk, and this added to the disgrace and shame that was to come for Tamar from others in the community.

What took place after Tamar was removed was a life of disgrace.  She was wearing a colorful robe, a sign of purity and honor. She tore her robe and put ashes on her head. Why? Was it not enough that she was abused and raped, and it was not her fault?  In ancient Israel, putting ashes on your head was a sign of repentance and sorrow.  For Tamar, she was showing her disgrace and her abuse by another man.  She was no longer a virgin, and her honor was removed.  She lived the rest of her days in disgrace.  Can you imagine the emotional abuse she put on herself?

One would think someone would come to her rescue, to stand up for Tamar and be her advocate, but there was no one.   Three men we see in the story did nothing.  Her father, King David was very upset with Amnon, but did nothing.  Her brother, Absalom told her to keep quiet and “don’t take this thing to heart.” (v.20) He did take revenge two years later and had Amnon killed (see 2 Sam 13:23-39). Finally, Tamar’s half brother, who she trusted, betrayed her and abused her.  We see that Tamar lived the rest of her days in Absalom’s house “a desolate woman.” (v.20)

Defining disgrace
If you are like me you want justice. That is exactly what disgrace does to the heart and soul; it brings such an injustice to the person for what occurred.  Look at the difference at disgrace and grace:

Disgrace                                                                                                          Grace
Loss of honor                                                                                              Honor

Loss of favor with people                                                                         Favor with God

Loss of trust with others                                                                          Trust in God, not others

No confidence in oneself                                                                          Confidence in God

Unworthy, Shame                                                                                     Worth in God

Emotional abuse                                                                                        Emotional freedom

Dismissed                                                                                                    Accepted

Satan uses the world and the flesh to cover and keep us in disgrace.  Even as young children when we felt like something was not right with us, we felt guilty and unworthy. Sin brings disgrace and shame and condemnation.  Satan wants to keep up in ashes. His whole purpose is to keep us in bondage to this thinking.  He will bring relationships into our lives that will cause shame and disgrace.  He will use our need to belong, to be significant, and to be secure and bring disgrace to our lives and try to keep is in a prison of disgrace. As strong and powerful as disgrace is, the grace of God is greater.  Jesus has come to remove disgrace and bring honor, favor, worth, trust, freedom and a new identity to our lives.  He is the lifter of our head and the remover of our ashes.  He stepped into our sin with the cross and removed our disgrace.

Is is time for you to invite Jesus into your disgrace, so He can be the lifter of your head?

Mark Keyes
Vice President of Infusion Ministries

Is This Really Me?

In the book The Me I Want to Be, John Ortberg describes the counterfeits and the rivals that can keep us from becoming the person we are meant to be.

First, there’s the Me I Pretend to Be.  John says, “God designed you to be you… and God designed us to delight in our actual lives.  When I am growing toward the me I want to be, I am being freed from the me I pretend to be.  I no longer try to convince people I am important while secretly fearing I am not.”1

Do you know that you are to delight in your life, to have fun with yourself?  You may be silly or goofy at times or just too serious for others, but God wants you to delight in yourself.  The reason we don’t delight in ourselves is because we pretend to be someone else.  We spend more time trying to “build” ourselves up around others to make ourselves look good.  When we pretend, we are creating a false life and a false identity about ourselves.  It takes a lot of energy to maintain a pretending life.  As John says, “Pretending to be someone we’re not is hard work.”2

What about you?  Are you trying to pretend and live a false life?  Here are some areas I listed to help us.

•  Around certain people
•  My job, career
• Church life
• Family
• Internet

Second, there is the Me I Think I Should Be.  Have you ever compared yourself to others?  We all have and comparisons can kill spiritual growth.  My wife and I are good examples.  I enjoy getting up early in the morning and reading, studying the Word.  I like to journal and make notes of my study time with God.  Tiffani also likes to rise and spend time with God, but this was not the case when our four boys were babies.  Tiffani would have loved to spend one hour alone with God but with babies that was very difficult.  Our four boys are older now and she is able to spend more time with God but there were times Tiffani felt guilty by not being with God.  But then it occurred to her that she was encountering God by loving and taking care of her children and home schooling them.  She was investing in God by carrying out her calling as a mother and wife.

In our friendships we compare ourselves to each other.  We look at other people’s talents, gifts, personality and spiritual growth and try to make ourselves into what they are doing.  There is always a part of us that “should” be something else, to make us better.  Granted, we should strive to be better in areas and be more disciplined, but God made us with our own likes and abilities and gifts.  As John says, “Should is an important word for spiritual growth, but God’s plan is not for you to obey Him because you should even though you don’t want to.  He made you to want His plan for you.”3

Have you ever compared yourself to others?

Do you want to hear solid Biblical teaching?  Join us at Infusion Now Radio.  Also visit our web site at www.infusionnow.org

Mark Keyes
Vice President of Infusion Ministries

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1 The Me I Want to Be, John Ortberg, Zondervan Publishing, 2010, p. 24

2 Ibid, p.24

3 Ibid, p. 26

Breaking Generational Sin

As we talk about breaking free from generational sin, let’s not forget our identity in Christ.   We are children of God with a new nature, our old nature has passed away and our new nature has come (see 2 Cor. 5:17).  We have been given “everything we need for life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3) so we have all we need to live the Christ life.  Don’t believe the lie that you are “short changed” or you could never rebuild your life again.  You are complete in Christ. (see Col. 2:10)

For our identity to become a daily reality in our lives, we must walk in the light and die to our flesh.  So many Christians do not walk in the light, nor do they overcome temptation, therefore they fall into sinful habits and bondage.

Why do many believers continue in the sins of their fathers and why are these sins passed down to the children?  Can sins be passed down from family genetics, from the environment and spiritually as well?  The answer is yes, all three are involved.

Our genetics
We all have genetic traits that are passed down through the family.  Some we like and some we dislike.  Athletic ability is a good trait to have from a father or mother, but alcoholism is not.  Children are more prone to drink if the grandparents and parents were alcoholics.  They can become more easily addictive to drugs and alcohol if the parents struggle in this area.  The cycle of abuse is another trait that is widely seen today.  I encounter so many people who were abused by family members and the abuse continues.  Health issues such as heart disease, cancer, mental illness, and weight problems are just a few examples of genetics that can be passed down to the children.

Our environment
Our environment plays a major role in our past and present.  Our environment teaches us about God, church and relationships.  I came from a Christian home with loving parents who took care of me and provided for my physical and spiritual needs.  Many other believers come from a childhood of negative attitudes about marriage, church and those in authority.  Children who are raised in a home where anything can be watched on TV, including pornography, or violent video games will often struggle with lust, anger and submission to authority.  I often talk with women who saw abuse at home as a child between their parents and they now are dealing with the same problem in their marriage.  Values and attitudes that are seen are taken to the heart of a child.

Is there more?  Yes!  Join me today live on Infusion Now Radio at 11:30 eastern for more in this topic.  Also, you can find more resources on how to break free from spiritual bondage at www.infusionnow.org 

Mark Keyes
Vice-President of Infusion Ministries

Now is the Time to Believe!

On the eve of the 100-year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, I wanted to share this real story of sacrifice and love for Christ.  In the book The Ruler Who Serves, Ray Stedman shares this amazing story of evangelist John Harper.

John Harper, traveling with his six-year old daughter, Nana, was sailing to America as the newly called pastor of Chicago’s Moody Church.  After the ship struck an iceberg and began sinking, Harper put his daughter into a lifeboat, then called out to the people on the tilting deck, “Women, children and unsaved in the lifeboats!”  He was ready for eternity, but his love for the others was so great that he wanted any who were unsaved to have the opportunity to live and find Jesus.

When the lifeboats were gone, Harper preached the message of salvation to those who, awaiting death, remained huddled on the deck of the Titanic.  He gave his lifejacket to another man and then jumped into the water, where he clung to a piece of wreckage.

The dread numbness of hypothermia seized Harper as he clung to life in the icy sea.  After just a few minutes in the water, his heartbeat was slowing and his muscles were becoming rigid.  He could feel his consciousness ebbing away, but then he saw a man floating nearby.  With teeth chattering uncontrollably, Harper called out, “Man! Are you saved?”

“No,” the stranger answered, “I am not!”

Harper explained the gospel to the man, then said, “Do you believe?”

“Yes!” the stranger answered.  And then, in the middle of the icy North Atlantic, this stranger gave his heart to Jesus Christ.  A short time later, this believer was pulled from the water by a passing lifeboat, but Harper was never found.  For years afterward, that survivor—John Harper’s last convert—told the story of the evangelist’s last words.  Those words gave a lost soul the power to believe and live forever.

Everyday is a day to live with passion, purpose, and being ready to share the hope and salvation to a lost world that is sinking in icy water.  Now is the time to believe!

Mark Keyes
Vice-President of Infusion Ministries

Caught in Sin

How should we respond to those caught in sin?  2 Corinthians 5:16-20 gives us a detailed response.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Let’s look at several critical issues from this passage.  First, anyone caught in sin is a new creation in Christ, a child of God.  They need to know the truth and choose for themselves “to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus” (See Rom. 6:11).  Most defeated Christians do not know their identity and position in Christ.  I have encountered people who view themselves as “no good” or “I’m worthless.”  These people have been victimized by the accuser of the brethren and probably by significant others in their lives.

Second, we need to understand our ministry.  Our ministry is one of reconciliation and not acting self-righteous and going after brother and sisters in Christ.  Why should we join with the enemy when Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ?”  Why do we want to expose the sin of others when the Scripture says, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Prov. 10:12)?

We must embrace Gal 5:26-6:1 that says, “…you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness…”  The ministry of a spiritual Christian is reconciliation and restoration.  If that is not your motive in confronting another person in regard to sin, then it is best that you do nothing at all.

Third, we are ambassadors for Christ.  We do not speak or minister to others on our own behalf; we do so as representatives of Christ, “as though God were making an appeal through us” (2 Cor. 5:20)

As you read through the Gospels you will see that sinners loved to be around Jesus, and He waged war against the hypocrites.  Many churches today are accused of being full of hypocrites, and sinners stay away.  I hope personally you represent Jesus Christ, full of compassion and mercy, which will draw people to your life and to Christ.  That takes work and maturity on our part.

To learn more, read “The Bondage Breaker” by Dr. Neil Anderson or call our ministry. Our passion is to help you minister to others with love and mercy.   Please visit our web site at www.infusionnow.org

Mark Keyes
Vice President of Infusion Ministries

Reality of the Spiritual World

Suppose you could see the reality of the spiritual world and, like God, knew what people were thinking.  As you observe, you see a dark brooding angelic figure lurking outside the door of a young Christian named Danny.

Disguised as an angel of light, this demon subtly suggests to Danny that he open the door to sin: “Why don’t you take a peek at this website?  You know you want to.  You will get away with it.  Who would know?  Everyone else does it.”

The Spirit of God within Danny brings immediate conviction and offers a way of escape.  Also within Danny is an appetite for food and sex, and a desire to operate independently from God.  The flesh in Danny wants to be satisfied and offers an argument against the Spirit of God.  “What’s wrong with looking at pornography anyway?  After all, who created me to have all these desires?  Wasn’t it God?

The battle in the mind is intense, “For the flesh sets it desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another.” (Gal. 5:17)  But Danny failed to take the way of escape by “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5)  At first, the pictures are a delight to his eyes and his body responds with explosions of feeling.  But the pleasure is only for a moment because he is tempted and carried away and enticed by his own lust.  The result is sin and death.  (see James 1:14-15)

Danny has open the door to the enemy because he has acted independently of God by choosing to sin.  Now the enemy’s role changes from tempter to accuser, “You will never get away from this, how can you call yourself a Christian?  You’re pathetic!

Overcome by guilt, Danny cries out to God, “Lord, forgive me, I’ll never do it again.”  Two day later, Danny sins again, and he plays out the whole cycle again.  He soon finds himself in a downward cycle of sin confess, sin confess and the cycle continues.  Danny is caught in a cycle of habitual sin, and a prison of condemnation and guilt.

Does this story relate to you?  Someone you know?  So many believers are caught in a desperate cycle of habitual sin.  How can you break free?

1. Know that you are forgiven by God.  Danny has confessed his sin over and over.  This cycle of sin confess, sin confess will only drive Danny into greater depths of despair and adding more shame and guilt.
2. Learn how to confess, the right way.  To confess is to agree with God.  It is the first step in repentance, but repentance is not complete without change.  We must agree with God and face the truth, but this will not completely deal with sin’s trap.
3. Learn to submit to God and resist the devil and close the door.   This completes repentance.  The door will be closed when all the bondages have been broken. This includes breaking down mental strongholds and harmful relationships that are feeding the problem.  Habitual sin continues because many Christians do not understand how to close the door to the enemy.

We have resources to help you, please call us! Our passion is to help you overcome habitual sin.  The above story is taken from Discipleship Counseling by Dr. Neil Anderson.

Mark Keyes
Vice President of Infusion Ministries

Lost That Lovin’ Feeling

I have been reading a book called “Not a Fan” by Kyle Idleman.  The whole focus of this book is “Are you a fan or a follower of Jesus.”  A fan is someone who will cheer and get excited about their team, but when things get serious and commitments are needed they back away.  A follower has a deeper commitment, an attitude that will “hang in there when things get tough.”  Kyle draws the line in the sand and asks the question,  “Are you are fan or a follower of Jesus Christ?”

What happens if you are a follower but you have lost your passion and love for Jesus.  It happens to even the most committed followers of Jesus.  What do you do to restore your love and zeal for Christ?

Have you ever heard of the word “sloth”?  You may relate sloth to an exotic animal from South America.  They are cute and they look like a stuff animal.  I saw a sloth while on a mission trip to Peru several years ago.  What I learned about sloths is they are very lazy.  They lay around all day and move very slowly.  They don’t get excited about much and their idea of fun is to lay around and eat.  The Bible talks about sloth as one of the seven deadly sins.  It is hard to imagine that being lazy is a deadly sin, but being lazy goes much deeper.  Lazy is not just a physical problem, but a spiritual problem too.  “Spiritual apathy” is a word that describes many believers.  Their attitude is “I don’t care.  I know God died for me, but I don’t care.  I know Jesus went to the cross to give me eternal life, but I am not motivated to love him back.”

Maybe there was a time you really followed Jesus, but now, your passion is gone. Life is so fast that you have given up, things have happened that has taken away your zeal and desire to know and follow God.  This is what happened to the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2:4.

“I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love…” (italics mine)

You may have lost or left your love for Jesus.  Your passion is gone and your desire to even go to church has dried out.  God looks at us like a bride looks at her husband.  Understand our honeymoon with God should never be over.  God’s love and passion for us is found in every book in the Bible. There is not a day or an hour that God is not thinking about you and me.

David says in Psalm 139:17-18, “How precious are Your thoughts to me, O’God.  How great is the sum of them.  They would out number the grains of sand;…”

My grandfather died when I was twelve.  For the next twenty-two years my grandmother lived alone without him.  They were married for forty-four years.  She would often talk about how much she missed him and how much she loved him.  She stayed and lived in the same house after he passed away.  I know out of habit she would see him.  She would often talk to me about seeing him again in heaven.  This kind of love is what Jesus expresses towards us, “I want to be with you, spend time with you and for you to know Me more.”

If you have lost your love and passion for God, just come to Him, just as you are and ask Him to give you a passion and desire to know Him.  He is thinking of you right now.

Mark Keyes
Vice-President of Infusion Ministries

The Lights Came On

Bob was a very successful manager who really had it all together.  He had a beautiful family, he was very active in this church, gifted in music, and could do so many things well.  He was the model Christian who had made it well financially and he even gave his money away to help others.  Everything was in order for Bob until the lights came on in his world.

Bob called me one day and asked, “Are you the bondage breaker guy I heard about?”  I did not know Bob and had never talked to him,  his opening question took me by surprise.  He continued, “I started reading the Bondage Breaker and I could not get through the first chapter, I need help.  Can we meet and talk?”  I few days later I met with Bob and we had one of those talks where the lights really came on for this man.

Bob went way back to his childhood and shared about his relationship with his father and how he wanted so badly to be accepted by his father.  He talked about his deep insecurities and how he wanted people to just love him.  He discussed his music, but he was only on the worship team so people would like him more.  But what got my attention the most was when Bob took out a photo of his little girls and said, “I want to get free for them.”

The lights really came on for this father.  At that moment it did not matter how successful he had been as a manager or as a gifted singer.  It did not matter to him what he had done at church and what others thought about him.  He was broken and Bob was ready to find healing.  There comes a time in all of us when the lights come on, when we “see” our lives and for what they are: broken and in need of true purpose.

Bob is like us all, in need of something to meet our needs of acceptance and belonging.  We try to find it in our careers, our family, our money and our gifts, yet that will never totally fulfill us.  So we live a “normal” Christian life with our hurts and our loneliness and even anger.  We even try harder and develop good behavior so our emotions will go away.  But that will never work, Bob can tell you that.

In the following weeks as I met with Bob we looked closely at how much he is accepted and loved and how he belongs to God.  Bob really began to experience freedom, not by doing something else, but by embracing his true identity in Christ.  He allowed the Holy Spirit to come and show him just how significant he is to God.

Have the lights come on for you?  Are you like Bob wondering how you can have joy, freedom, peace, and complete purpose?  Do fears and deep insecurities control your life?  Ask God to turn the lights on and show you what you need to see.

Mark Keyes
Vice President of Infusion Ministries

To Deny?

What is it about denying that is so hard and often confusing to us?  We think of denying as giving up something that we really desire, like our favorite food or entertainment.  By the world’s standards that is true.  But if I really want to follow Jesus and not just watch from the sidelines, then let’s go to the foundation of denying and learn what will help us deny ourselves and follow Jesus.

Jesus asked the disciples a question in Luke 9:20, saying, “But who do you say that I am?”  To follow Jesus I must have a correct understanding of who He is.  People really struggle with their Christian life because they have a false idea of who Jesus is and a false idea about the character of God.  Lies have been built up over time because of bad experiences and even false teaching.  They may look at God as a demanding father who is ready to judge us.  Or they may look at Jesus as this wonderful teacher who loved people and will accept everyone when we die.  False beliefs about God and not understanding who Jesus is will greatly hinder us from following Him.

So when Jesus says, “deny yourself,” (Luke 9:23) how does a correct understanding of who Jesus is help me?  If I know and believe that there is a deep love for me and Jesus is very passionate for my life, then I will want to deny myself and follow Him.  You see, His love is life-changing.  When I embrace His love and have a correct understanding of the person and nature of God, then I will follow Jesus and really deny myself.  My life will change!  To deny then is to turn from your selfish ways, your selfish ambition.  His love is so deep and so satisfing to me and that really fuels me to follow Him even more.

The foundation of denying is not to remove myself from the “things of the world.” The foundation of denying is embracing the love of Jesus and then I will want to remove the “things of the world.”  When I really love Jesus and all that He is, then I will experience a changed life and I will deny myself.

Mark Keyes
Vice President of Infusion Ministries

Forever Friend

We live and a cruel and unfriendly world.  If you live in this world long enough you will experience its harshness and pain.   People will take advantage of you and hurt you in the process.  Yet through all the cruelness and evil in the world there is someone who dearly loves you.  This someone is passionate about you and desires the best for you.  Even when others turn their back on you he will be there for you.  This special someone sacrificed all to meet your needs and to see you free.  As you know we are talking about Jesus.

I believe the most important passages in the Bible are found in John 14-16.  These three chapters were spoken just before Jesus died.  He was pouring out his heart to his disciples about loving the Father, unity, loving others, fruitfulness, friendship and the Holy Spirit.  But the most important was what he said in John 15 about abiding with him.  Look at what he said, “Abide in Me, and I in you…I am the vine you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit…” (v. 4a-5)  “If you abide in Me, and My works abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.” (v.7)  “…I have loved you; abide in My love.” (v.9)  “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love…” (v.10)  Abiding is to remain, make a home, and live with.  Jesus wants to live with us.  It is His passion to dwell with us daily.  That is the sacrifice he made—to be with us and live in us.

When you and I learn to abide by obeying God’s commands and desiring his presence then something special happen, a friendship is created.  If I ask you what is takes to have a friendship that last and endures you would say words like trust and love.  But what about time and effort, friendships take time and effort to last.  My wife is my best friend.  We have been married now for tweenty years and we have built a friendship of trust and love.  By us spending time of sharing our hearts and dreams and enduring hardship together we have built a friendship that is strong.  Jesus wants a friendship that is strong.  He tells us to abide and when we remain in him he will build that friendship with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Even though my wife Tiffani is my best friend she can’t meet all my needs of love, acceptance and belonging.  Only Jesus can meet those needs and when I abide and build a friendship with him those deep personal needs that we all have will be met.

Jesus is the best friend anyone can have because he proved it by giving his life for us on the cross.  “This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us”  (I John 3:16) I know Jesus is my friend because He chose you and me.

It is hard at times to make friends in the world.  People are mean and cruel and you may have been hurt in the past.  Your heart may have been broken by someone special and close to you,  but let me encourage what you have today—a God who loves you passionately and has called you his friend.  This is the most important relationship you can ever have by abiding in him and developing a friendship with him.  Jesus is our forever friend even when we are at our worst and our lowest he will still love us dearly.  And that is a strong love that will endure to the end.

Mark Keyes
Vice President of Infusion Ministries